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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604959">Horse Girl Jesper</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelly_beanie/pseuds/jelly_beanie'>jelly_beanie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cowboy Hats, Cowboy Jesper, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Horse Girl Jesper, Humor, Mentions of Wylan Van Eck, but it's awesome somehow, i don't know what happened</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:55:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604959</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelly_beanie/pseuds/jelly_beanie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'Dirty Hands laughed roughly, a dark smile shadowed his face. “Since when did you become a Horse Girl, Jesper?” The savage look he gave him only riled Jesper further.<br/>“I AM A COWBOY.”<br/>Kaz could only roll his eyes. Shaking his head he said teasingly, “Pretty sure I know a Horse Girl when I see one.”<br/>Jesper proceeded to kick Jesper Jr. into a trot and shouted back to Kaz. “YEEHAW BITCH!” Together, horse and her idiot, they plunged through the crowd. Yells and curses followed them as they barged through the Barrel. Havoc reigned as the chaotic duo plowed along. Kaz could only watch, a silent smile curled across his face.'</p><p>Jesper gets a horse and believes that he is a cowboy. Kaz, Jesper, and Inej reunite. Hijinks ensue. (I don't know what happened here, but I think it's bloody brilliant not to brag. Horse Girl Jesper isn't what any of us wanted, but it's what we needed and realized that we actually wanted)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jesper Fahey &amp; Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker &amp; Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker &amp; Jesper Fahey &amp; Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Horse Girl Jesper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story was inspired by my best friend's genius, but she was too much of a coward to write the actual fic. She did contribute various dialogue and 'plot' and her idea of what Jesper would do if he were to get a horse (since he loves animals, grew up on a farm etc). So thanks pal for whatever the hell this is. It twas fun for sure lmao.</p><p>Some cowboy terminology:<br/>Big bug: the boss<br/>Barkin’ at a Knot: doing something useless, wasting your time</p><p> </p><p>No one asked for this, but here we are.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Typically, Kaz did his best to prepare for anything. He wasn’t often surprised. His plans always had contingencies, he was always thinking ahead, calculating every possibility. He just never expected to see Jesper high upon a horse barreling through the streets of Ketterdam with a cowboy hat perched upon his head.</p><p>Kaz was just about to leave the slat, crow head cane in hand. The ground floor office that was once Per Haskell’s and now entirely <em>Dirty Hands</em>’ had caged him long enough. The Dregs weren’t the same without Inej and Jesper with him. The lack of Jesper’s banter and Inej’s judging, but silent gaze made things around the slat feel far too empty without them. Of course, Kaz would never explicitly tell them so. His irritable mood had only been lifted by the knowledge that Inej would be docking <em>The</em> <em>Wraith</em> in Ketterdam’s harbor this afternoon. Nothing would ruin that for him, but before he could dwell on the warm feeling in his chest he was suddenly ripped from his thoughts. </p><p>“Howdy, howdy <em> big bug </em>, quit barkin’ at a knot, it’s time to get goin’ to see Inej. Just hope that I won’t beat ya there.”</p><p>The Bastard of the Barrel, Kaz “<em> Dirty Hands </em>” Brekker turned to look, dutifully startled though his face didn’t quite show it. Instead his features froze in place, his eyes widened just slightly. Jesper, alongside a creamy brown Thoroughbred, had shoved their heads through his office window. A wild grin sprawled across the other boy’s face. Kaz could only stare. The stunned silence lasted for what felt like an eternity before the Barrel boss could manage to say something. </p><p>“What the hell are you doing?” Kaz said slowly, exhaustion seeped into his deadpan tone as his voice scraped out the question. Each weary word was drenched in utter disappointment.  </p><p>Jesper tipped his cowboy hat, his crooked grin twisted into something atrocious. “Yeehaw?” He had the nerve to say. </p><p>Kaz turned and walked out the door. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, Jesper caught him outside. He had managed to guide the mare’s head out of <em> Dirty Hands’ </em> window while Kaz slipped out of the slat. Barely looking at the horrendous pair he headed down the street and toward the docks. Jesper pulled his horse up beside him, towering above him far more than usual. Kaz refused to look at them, determined to keep his eyes forward and away from Jesper’s god awful hat. </p><p>“I’ve been trying to think of a name for her. I suggested Jesper Jr., but Wylan’s not a big fan of that one.” He chuckled good naturedly, which did nothing to excuse the fact that he was riding through Ketterdam like a damn cowboy. </p><p>Kaz made the mistake of glancing over at him and it was enough to see that Jesper had also donned a pair of boots made of cowhide leather dyed an atrocious green. What had possessed Jesper Fahey he did not know, but the sharp shooter always did have a knack for the outrageous. <em> Dirty Hands </em> pinched the bridge of his nose with gloved hands. All he could hope for was that Inej would talk some sense into their gangly friend.</p><p>“Maybe Jesper Jr. could come in handy…” Kaz mused, a dark humor to his tone. “We could use her on some future jobs…”</p><p>Another look at Jesper and he could see the boy’s eyes grow wide. “No…”</p><p>Smirking, Kaz continued. “You know, if need be…”</p><p>“NO…” The wannabe cowboy was shaking his head vigorously.</p><p>“We could always use a meat shield.”</p><p>At that point Jesper had wrapped all four of his lanky limbs around the mare’s neck in a protective hug. “NOOO HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING IN FRONT OF HER? SHE’S SENSITIVE!”</p><p><em> Dirty Hands </em> laughed roughly, a dark smile shadowed his face. “Since when did you become a Horse Girl, Jesper?” The savage look he gave him only riled Jesper further.</p><p>“I AM A COWBOY.”</p><p>Kaz could only roll his eyes. Shaking his head he said teasingly, “Pretty sure I know a Horse Girl when I see one.”</p><p>Jesper proceeded to kick Jesper Jr. into a trot and shouted back to Kaz. “YEEHAW BITCH!” Together, horse and her idiot, they plunged through the crowd. Yells and curses followed them as they barged through the Barrel. Havoc reigned as the chaotic duo plowed along. Kaz could only watch, a silent smile curled across his face.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Inexplicably, Kaz had reached the docks before Jesper. Kaz leaned on his cane, his face smug, relishing in his victory. How the bastard had managed to beat him perplexed Jesper, but that was Kaz Brekker for you. Perhaps he could chalk it up to Kaz’s yearning heart. He and Inej had been apart for so long... Jesper almost snickered at the thought. The thief had always been secretive, unclear as to where his loyalties lay. His favor for Inej had been a cause of jealousy and confusion for Jesper, but now it was clear (even to Jesper’s dense skull) that there was a reason for that. The Bastard of the Barrel wasn’t as bastardly as he seemed, at least when it came to Inej.  </p><p>On horseback he could make out the majestic double eagle sails of <em> The Wraith </em> docked in the harbor. His irritated expression lightened and with one swift movement he slid from Jesper Jr.’s back. Reins in hand, he followed Kaz over to the ship. The faux animosity between them lifted as the two drew nearer, and soon he could see the agile figure of his friend climbing down one of the ship’s rope ladders. Inej, easily recognizable even without her old Wraith garb, was dressed in a purple tunic and a tricorne (pirate) hat with black (possibly crow) feathers sticking out of it. With a leap she was on the ship’s deck and landed as graceful as a cat. The next thing Jesper saw was her running down the plank towards them. She was already smiling as she raced over, the sight of Jesper Jr. lit her face up with what he could only assume was a laugh.</p><p>Inej reached them, barreling into Jesper’s arms with a hug. With his arms wrapped around her Jesper was finally relieved. All the close calls had him holding onto her a little tighter for a moment longer. It was good to know that she was safe, though he knew he should never doubt her. The Wraith was as capable a captain as she was a spy. Before he could pull away, Jesper raised his eyebrows at Kaz, inviting him to join the hug. The thief tore his eyes away from Inej for a moment to make a face at the suggestion. Jesper could only sigh, shaking his head as the captain released her hold on him.</p><p>Inej didn’t aim for a hug with Kaz, instead she just nodded, a warm smile on her lips. Kaz nodded in return with a tender warmth to his eyes. Something in their gaze held more than words, as if a secret hung between them that Jesper could never comprehend. Awkwardly, Jesper waited for the long and heartfelt silence to pass. “Good grief you too, quit it with the lovefest already!”</p><p>Scowling, Kaz muttered. “I hate you,”</p><p>Inej could only roll her eyes. “I missed this...” Finally her gaze landed upon Jesper’s head. “Umm...care to explain to me why you’re dressed up as a cowboy? And why you have a horse?”</p><p>The mischievous grin that he’d taunted Kaz with earlier returned to Jesper’s face, while Kaz could only sigh. “That’s because I <em> am </em>a cowboy, now.” </p><p>“Horse Girl,” Kaz butted in to Jesper’s annoyance. If he called him that one more time…</p><p>“A <em> cowboy </em>, and this is my horse. Wylan gifted her to me - ”</p><p>“Wait so we have<em> Wylan </em> to blame for this?” </p><p>Jesper ignored him. Responding would only feed the flames. “I’m still trying to figure out a name for her because apparently Wylan doesn’t think Jesper Jr. is any good. Maybe you’ll give me some good suggestions, Inej. Or you could help Wylan see what a great name Jesper Jr. is!”</p><p>Chuckling, Inej walked up to the mare and stroked her soft head. “So, <em> this </em> is what you’ve been up to while I’ve been gone? Spending Van Eck’s fortune well I see.”</p><p>“Not a very clever investment on Wylan’s part…” Kaz muttered, further seeking to needle on Jesper’s nerves.</p><p>“Jesper Jr.’s an emotional investment, Kaz. I’m sure you know a thing or two about that…” He trailed off, smirking as Kaz’s eyes darkened murderously. </p><p>“Inej, make him stop. We can’t have him walking around pretending to be a cowboy. You should’ve heard what he said to me this morning.” </p><p>Despite Kaz’s request - well, demand - Inej didn’t turn away from the horse, far too committed to showering the mare with affection. “Hey, wanna take me for a ride, cowboy Jesper?”</p><p>Jesper couldn’t have asked for more. He tipped his hat, falling into an exaggerated bow. He looked up at her and said, “Twould be my honor, milady.” Then he climbed back onto his horse. Looking over his shoulder, Jesper could see Kaz’s horrified expression.  </p><p>“How am I ever going to trust you again?” Kaz asked Inej while Jesper extended a hand to help her onto Jesper Jr.’s back. She looked back at him, a glint in her eyes and laughter on her lips as she swung her leg over the saddle. For a moment Kaz didn’t even look mad. He was too caught up just looking at her, relishing her presence. Jesper just shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was never wise to it before Kaz up and bought a damn ship for Inej.</p><p>“Oh, I just remembered!” Jesper leaned down and dug into his saddle bag. Inej watched from behind as he pulled out another cowboy hat. “This is for you!” A manic grin crept up his features and Inej mirrored the expression. A string of curses from Kaz could be heard from down below as they swapped the pirate hat for the cowboy one which matched his own. </p><p>“Wow, thank you Jes. I love it.” Inej proclaimed despite Kaz’s blatant glare. “I’ll wear it often.” </p><p>If there was ever a time Jesper feared for his life it was now as <em> Dirty Hands’ </em> merciless gaze and sadistic smile were aimed at him. He watched, suddenly very aware of his heartbeat, as the tight leash on Kaz’s anger gained a few inches of slack. “We’re going to burn those along with your damned boots. Then I’ll see about burning you up too.” </p><p>Jesper chuckled nervously. “Aw c’mon Kaz. You’re just jealous. Should I have bought one for you too?” With that he’d just signed his death sentence. Thankfully Inej was there to intervene - or well fan the flames apparently.</p><p>“If you had your own horse I’d be riding with you.” Suddenly kicking Jesper Jr. into a gallop was a very appealing idea. </p><p>With a scowl Kaz said, “I don’t need a horse to get around. I reached the docks far before Jesper did.”</p><p>“Ha! Jesper Jr. and I were hardly racing. We could definitely beat you to the restaurant. No way you're faster than horsepower.” Jesper was never one to reign things in, but sometimes he just really despised that about himself. After spurring this feud to even greater heights he was immediately dunked with regret. </p><p>“Is that a bet, Fahey?” The Barrel boss questioned with an edge of mischief in his tone.</p><p>Hurriedly, Jesper backtracked. “You know I’ve left my gambling days behind me, Kaz.”</p><p><em> Dirty Hands </em> just laughed. “Then what about a promise?” That sadistic grin was back. “I swear to you, I will reach the restaurant before the pair of idiots on a horse can, cripple and all.” </p><p>Inej smiled down at him before Jesper could say anything. “You’re on, Brekker.”</p><p>For a second Jesper thought he spotted a hint of amusement on Kaz’s face before it smoothed back into that challenging confidence. Despite his better instincts (which Jesper had likely gambled away at some point), he leaned forward. “Then I’ve got a promise for you: <em> We</em> will get there first - lickity split.”</p><p>Kaz just raised his brows and assumed a pleasant, almost unbothered appearance. “Alright. Let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>And then they were off. The sound of Jesper’s ‘YEEHAW’ boomed across the harbor. Inej gripped his waist and he could almost feel her smile as they tore through the Ketterdam streets. They were havoc on four legs. People moved in droves to get out of their way. When there were too many clogging the road, Jesper took to the canals. Water splashed up around them almost completely drenching the pair along the way. Jesper figured Inej wouldn’t mind too much since she spent a fair amount of time on a boat. Besides, they’d do anything to win. </p><p>Things went south when they practically ran over a gondola. The startled cries from the passengers sent Jesper Jr. tumbling out of the river and back onto dry land before they were slowed down any further. Unfortunately, the traffic on this block was even denser than before. Fortunately, Jesper had no impulse control and a massive desire to have one over on Kaz. So naturally they rammed headlong into the crowd. Some shouted obscenities up at them and others clamored to get away. It was pure chaos. </p><p>“Stadwatch’ll probably be onto us now.” Inej muttered into his ear. She didn’t seem terribly concerned. </p><p>“I don’t see their asses on horses. They’ll choke on dust trying to catch us.” Jesper laughed and urged Jesper Jr. faster. The streets cleared a path in front of them as the masses hurried out of their way, eager to escape being trampled. </p><p>“There,” Inej pointed up ahead to their finish line. “That’s the place.” The quaint building sat innocently in front of them unaware of the storm rumbling its way. Kaz was nowhere in sight. Still, that didn’t cull the suspicion that nudged it’s way into Jesper’s brain. </p><p>In a burst of dust they reached the restaurant, the streets in utter disarray behind them, and screeched to a halt. Jesper Jr. whinnied for dramatic affect, rearing her front legs up with a sense of flare that made her cowboy proud. Hurriedly Inej and Jesper slid off the mare’s back, looking around to see perhaps if Kaz was lurking elsewhere in the shadows. </p><p>“Do ya think…?” Jesper didn’t finish the question as he tied Jesper Jr. outside the restaurant. </p><p>Inej narrowed her eyes. “Let’s head inside.” She murmured and dragged him through the door. It didn’t take long to find the suited figure leaning back in his chair with a smug air about him. That split second feeling of victory quickly vanished, leaving no traces in its wake. </p><p>With an exasperated sigh Jesper threw his arms up. “HOW?” He bellowed, but Kaz’s smirk was his only answer.</p><p>Inej just rolled her eyes. “Of course you’re already here.” She shook her head, laughing a little and strolled over to Kaz’s table. Jesper plopped down beside her and tried not to be too disappointed.</p><p>“Can’t believe I really thought I’d win that one.” He just kept shaking his head, very much ignoring Kaz’s bemused look.  </p><p>“I did make a promise.” He said simply. Then, with a malicious sheen in his dark, scratchy voice. “A shame you couldn’t keep your own.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kaz listened as Inej regaled their table with stories of her daring escapades and as Jesper supplied them with details about how he’d been practicing his fabricating by making horseshoes for Jesper Jr. They feasted on waffles and they joked and they laughed. It was such an easy rhythm that it was hard to believe Kaz had ever worried about them being out of sync. It was natural and comfortable and they weren’t back with the Dregs or carrying out one of his crazy schemes. They were just here, together with no purpose other than to just be in each other’s company. Even with Jesper’s antics and Inej’s playful encouragement he couldn’t help but want it to last. He’d missed these moments and he didn’t want them to be over. He didn’t want them to leave.</p><p>Still, that didn't change what he had to do. After their bill was paid and their stomachs filled, they burned both cowboy hats and Jesper's atrocious green cowboy boots. </p><p>Back at the slat they served as kindling in Kaz’s fireplace. Jesper stood before the fire, hand across his chest in salute as he mourned his loss. Inej was just laughing and when he caught her eye she smiled at him. Kaz smiled back. </p><p>“Goodbye, Cowboy Jesper.” Jesper declared to the flames with his head hung low. </p><p>Kaz couldn’t help himself. “I think you mean Horse Girl Jesper.” </p><p> </p><p>  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*Jesper convincing Wylan to ride his horse with him*: "But it jogs the liver, Wylan! It jogs the liver!"</p><p>In the comments I would welcome suggestions for what Jesper should name his horse if no one is as much of a fan of Jesper Jr. as he is lol</p><p>Also if anyone wants more fun cowboy slang/terminology, here's a link<br/>https://www.thechiefstoryteller.com/2018/12/05/fun-with-words-cowboy-slang/</p></blockquote></div></div>
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